Wednesday 7 August 2013

Nationals Show Prep

This years prep for Nationals was a tough one for me...from the Arnold Amatuer's to this show I did not follow my Primal diet as I had done in the past which caused a little higher weight gain. That started playing with my head, I have also gained more muscle from last years show so the scale was not  dropping like I wanted it too. Although I know that a bikini competitor is not subject to a weigh in and it is how you look,  the scale still mess's with my head.
I found myself in a dark place several times really struggling with my Bulima which was the exact reason I did not want to do shows anymore. It causes a constant obsession on how you look, what you weigh and what you eat. I have done alot of work on myself in the past to curb the voices and gain control over my bulimia.  Even though I know better it can be a struggle. I will always have those voices come up even if I am doing a show or not and it is up to me if I give into them, what kind of life do I want to live what kind of example do I want to be to other women and my daughter.
So I pushed through, I had to stop being so hard on myself,  give my body the love and respect it needs, instead of getting angry with the scale not moving, start appreciating the strength and beauty of this amazing body I have been given. I realized that before I know it the show will be over,  this is my time to give all I can to be the best I can be in this area of my life and that is all I can expect.
I continued to do my best, to try not get obsessed with the scale but rather with trying to bring my best package to this show,  giving my 150% each training session and with my diet.  This is just a small part of my life in the grand scheme of things but for those 16 weeks it becomes such a focal point it gets hard to keep it in perspective. As a women there is already so much pressure on us to look a certain way, add a competition and being on stage in front of hundreds of people and it gets pretty intense.
So as I finish this show journey I continue to work on being kind and loving to this body that enables me to do so much...




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1 comment:

  1. Mel7 August 2013 at 09:03

    I love and appreciate this post. I think almost every girl goes through body image issues, from mild to severe, and it is so good to be able to hear other women's stories and know that we are not alone!. You are looking absolutely gorgeous and are such an inspiration to myself and so many others. <3

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