Do I Matter?

As Oprah has stated numerous times over the years one of our fundamental human needs is to feel validated :

•  Do you see me? 
•  Do you hear me?
•   Does anything I say mean anything to you?

We all want to be heard and acknowledged. Even if the other person does not agree with us, the act of listening will usually satisfy the speaker. This rings true in relationships of all kinds: mother/daughter, friendships, with colleagues, and with lovers/partners.

I’ll be honest; this is an area I know I really need to work on. I often get so bogged down and carried away with my day-to-day priorities, that when a loved one calls to talk, I tend to do a million things at once while trying to listen. I acknowledge I am not present in that moment. I do not stop and give that person the respect they deserve when they are sharing something extremely important with me.

I then try and justify the lack of focus by running through my regular excuses of work responsibilities, child, relationship, training, chores at home, etc. but ‘I’m just so busy’ gets old after awhile. It’s as if I’m trying to convince myself that my reasons justify the lack of attention I’m giving – but they don’t.

My ‘ah ha moment’ occurred recently when my neglect jeopardized a relationship I hold very dear to me. I was forced to step back and reevaluate my actions .  This person had been expressing to me  that their needs were not being met. I had brushed it off as them being overly sensitive. However,  when the thought of not having them in my life became possiblity I had to stop and look at my actions: 

How had my behaviour affected the other person? What could I have done better? What changes did I need to make? What kind of friend, partner, mother, and daughter do I want to be?

If I want to live an extraordinary life, a huge part of that is having extraordinary relationships. This means I need to treat the amazing people in my life with respect, as they are precious and important.

One of those ways is the simple act of taking the time to stop what I am doing, hold off on the multi-tasking and give my undivided attention to the person sharing with me. One day they might be gone and I never want to regret taking them for granted.

              

                                                                     Follow me on:

                                                               Twitter: @aeryonashlie  

                                                          Facebook:Aeryon Bela Ashlie

                                                          Instagram: Aeryon Bela Ashlie

"Everything is Awesome" on Social Media

I recently decided to join the world of Instagram. Although I had seen pictures from Instagram before, I had never felt motivated to set one up for myself… mostly due to the fact I have to have a Blackberry for work, which wasn’t compatible with Instagram.

In my first month as an “Instagrammer” I have noticed how incredible people’s lives seem to be. Not only just incredible, but extraordinary enough to make me re-evaluate my whole life….LOL.

What got me to the point of re-evaluation? The selfies of six-pack abs, round, firm butts, perfect flawless makeup, outfits that look like they were styled by Vogue, glamorous shoes, and hair that falls perfectly into place, could have something to do with it. It also could have been the expensive cars, wonderful homes that look like they belong in Architectural Digest, and vacations to exotic destinations…

It seems we have become a culture of “everything is awesome” on social media. We all want to portray that we live a fabulous life, with a six-pack abs, a big house, the perfect relationship, cute babies that don’t cry, and driving a luxury vehicle, all while wearing our designer clothes that belong on Pinterest.

I’ll admit, I have also played into the ‘my life is awesome’ photo posting to a certain degree, but my real truth is: my life is messy.

I work out and try to eat healthy (80/20 rule), yet I still do NOT have a six-pack. My hair is usually in a bun or ponytail, and fashion for me is usually a sweat shirt and yoga pants or jeans. I do love my little home but my family sometimes feels like we are on top of each other for a lack of space. I work really hard to pay my bills and sometimes I still don’t have enough. I often feel ‘Mommy guilt’ for not spending enough time with my midget, I have arguments in my relationship, and I am in a constant game of catch-up in everything!

Now, I am not saying that everyone on Instagram or social media is presenting this over-the-top idea of ‘perfection’ because there are many are people being authentic and sharing their journeys truthfully… but the reality is, no one’s life is perfect!

I am pledging, going forward, that I any and everything I post on my social media is to be honest, authentic, imperfect and vulnerable.

So get ready for some bad hair days.

“To be authentic, we must cultivate the courage to be imperfect—and vulnerable.” Brene Brown

      

                                                                     Follow me on:

                                                               Twitter: @aeryonashlie  

                                                          Facebook:Aeryon Bela Ashlie

                                                          Instagram: Aeryon Bela Ashlie

               

                                                             

Working Yummy Mommy, SD Athlete, Fitness Chick: 2015 Party Tips

Working Yummy Mommy, SD Athlete, Fitness Chick: 2015 Party Tips: This holiday season, instead of waiting for my New Year’s Resolutions, I decided to start on December 1 st .  Every year with the holiday p...

2015 Party Tips

This holiday season, instead of waiting for my New Year’s Resolutions, I decided to start on December 1^st.  Every year with the holiday parties and all the social activities my fitness and health goals can easily get buried in the mantra: “I will just wait  until January 1^st”.

I have experienced the dreaded aftermath of abundant holiday eating and drinking that leaves me feeling as far away as possible from my optimal health and fitness by the time January 1^st rolls around. This year I really wanted to do something different so I went into the holidays with a plan to keep my health on track.

Here are the top 5 Holiday Tips I practiced:

1: Move everyday!

Every day I moved my body for at least 30 minutes. Whether it was walking, an exercise class, playing with my daughter, or heading to the gym to squeeze a workout in, making exercise a priority was essential.

2: Don’t go hungry

Before going to a holiday party, I made sure I did not go hungry. Otherwise, tearing myself away from the treat table is even harder, and let’s be honest, we have all been there! I’d have some lean protein before I left to fill me up. When I was at the food table I reached for veggies first before allowing myself some treats. 

I believe in the 80/20 rule: I eat healthy 80% of the time and leave 20% for my treat of choice.

3: Drink alcohol in moderation

I am a woman who enjoys a glass of wine. My trick is with every half glass of wine I drink, I consume a full glass of water. This not only helps keep the following morning a lot easier but also allows me to enjoy myself a lot longer. Another tip is to drink vodka/soda in a tall glass with a half shot of vodka instead of the full shot. You will end up consuming way more water, which will keep you hydrated and again lessen the hangover. Vodka is also very low in calories and sugar, and I always bring a Crystal Light to add flavor to my drinks. They have many wonderful flavors to choose from and fit perfectly into a purse.

4: Avoid the nuts

There is usually a nut dish at parties, and although nuts are touted as “healthy”, one serving of nuts is roughly 12-15 nuts - this does NOT including the sugar coated, honey glazed nuts.  If possible, push the nut dish away – it’s easy to lose track of how many handfuls you’ve had.

5: Stock up on the veggies

I often bring a veggie platter filled with many delicious options and a healthy dip. That way, I make sure I’ve got at least one choice that won’t throw my diet completely off track.

I am happy to report that starting my resolutions early this year did work for me. I felt fantastic on New Year’s Eve,  while managing to enjoy myself at all my holiday get-togethers! 

Even though party time is over, social events will continue to pop up at any time! Try using these tips throughout 2015 and don’t let one bad instance throw off your entire regimen.

                                              Follow me in Instagram: @aeryonbelaashlie

                                              Follow me in Twitter:     @aeryonashlie

                                              Like my Facebook page: Aeryon Bela Ashlie