Do I Matter?

As Oprah has stated numerous times over the years one of our fundamental human needs is to feel validated :

•  Do you see me? 
•  Do you hear me?
•   Does anything I say mean anything to you?

We all want to be heard and acknowledged. Even if the other person does not agree with us, the act of listening will usually satisfy the speaker. This rings true in relationships of all kinds: mother/daughter, friendships, with colleagues, and with lovers/partners.

I’ll be honest; this is an area I know I really need to work on. I often get so bogged down and carried away with my day-to-day priorities, that when a loved one calls to talk, I tend to do a million things at once while trying to listen. I acknowledge I am not present in that moment. I do not stop and give that person the respect they deserve when they are sharing something extremely important with me.

I then try and justify the lack of focus by running through my regular excuses of work responsibilities, child, relationship, training, chores at home, etc. but ‘I’m just so busy’ gets old after awhile. It’s as if I’m trying to convince myself that my reasons justify the lack of attention I’m giving – but they don’t.

My ‘ah ha moment’ occurred recently when my neglect jeopardized a relationship I hold very dear to me. I was forced to step back and reevaluate my actions .  This person had been expressing to me  that their needs were not being met. I had brushed it off as them being overly sensitive. However,  when the thought of not having them in my life became possiblity I had to stop and look at my actions: 

How had my behaviour affected the other person? What could I have done better? What changes did I need to make? What kind of friend, partner, mother, and daughter do I want to be?

If I want to live an extraordinary life, a huge part of that is having extraordinary relationships. This means I need to treat the amazing people in my life with respect, as they are precious and important.

One of those ways is the simple act of taking the time to stop what I am doing, hold off on the multi-tasking and give my undivided attention to the person sharing with me. One day they might be gone and I never want to regret taking them for granted.

              

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