3 Weeks Out

   I am 3 weeks away from my biggest show to date, the Arnold Amateur, I am so excited to be part of this competition.

  I have decided on my suit colour, it is a beautiful......(not telling yet...lol),  I have always changed my suit with each show,  I like having different suit pics and watching my bodies progression. My diet is really strict now, no cheat days at all,  we started carb cycling, so 2 days at a higher carb count then dropping low for one day, protein/fiber stays the same, fats are dropped by half on the lower days. We are hoping to pull me in even tighter and leaner than past shows, so far it seems to be working. Cardio is up to two 50 min sessions each day with weight training 2 days on and 1 day off. This sometimes is a challenge being a full time working mom, so I have moved my treadmill into the living room so in the mornings I can talk with my daughter as I run. Must say does not really go with the decor but gives my daughter more balance.

 I think it is amazing if you have those around you who support and encourage you, I am lucky enough to have a wonderful boyfriend who has been so great through all of this. It is not easy to be with a competitor, the countless gym hours, prepping food (the constant smell of fish wafting through the house), I am tired, grouchy, and at times....emotional. He is a constant encouragement and support to me everyday.  For that I am so thankful....

  Energy wise I do feel good,  the low carb days tend to be a little rough as I am tired but I know this is my choice and I have to put in the work to get the results.  I watch alot of the competition videos to help to motivate and inspire me. I started posing every Sunday with my coaches and their team so being with a group of competitors helps push me along. I know before I know it the show will be over....so I am trying to enjoy each step of this journey....

Finding Inner Peace

Many people do not know this about me but I have battled an eating disorder most of my life. When I was growing up I was considered a chunkier/thicker child.  In grade 7 my parents put me into Weight Watchers which started my weight loss journey.  In looking back at pictures I don't see an obese child, what I see now is a little girl who was trying to get attention by filling herself with food.
When I was 14 I thought I had discovered what I thought was the best "weight loss" solution, I had a friend who's sister had been battling bulimia and to me it seemed like the perfect method. Not only did I get to eat whatever I wanted BUT.....I could get rid of it at no caloric consequence. I felt as though I finally had won!!
 As the years progressed my binging and purging worsened and it became a daily battle to not "loose it".  Some days I would think I had it beat then I would take 1tablespoon to much and I was sent into a tailspin searching for anything to fill my void. As my disease worsened so did my teeth and my eyes, to this day I am still paying costly dental bills due to the damage I have done.
So this original idea of having "Control" over my weight now had complete 100% control over every part of my life. I couldn't go out to eat in fear that if I needed to "loose it" I would not be able too.  I did not want my friends or family knowing about what I was doing and I became completely controlled by this disease. For over 10 years of my life any family holiday I had to plan ahead which bathroom I would use and how I would get away when needed. I remember waking up from nightmares where I had binged in my dream and could not find somewhere to "loose it".
When I started competing 10 years ago I thought I had beat it, as I had to follow such a strict diet plan I could not deviate and the binging subsided.  However, once the show was over I would fall back into my old routine, and at this point my body was so deprived it held on to any calories I took in so matters became even worse.
Four years ago I had my daughter Mekaella, I knew that I did not want her to follow in my footsteps.  I made the conscious effort to change the voice in my head, from "You'll get fat if you don't get rid of it" to "You will never have the life you want to have if you continue doing this of it".
I had to really fight against this inner voice that controlled me for so long. However, over time the voice became quieter,  and I became more relaxed with food.
I then began to look at my trigger foods and started eliminating them from my diet processed foods, wheat, grains ect. I started eating whole foods, fruits, meats and nuts, I am not going to binge on a bag of apples or a steak.  Changing my food choices also has greatly helped with the urge to binge.
Last year when I started competing again that was a real concern of mine that I would fall back into the trap of years past . I am happy to report that I have not, and it is not that I don't hear that old voice, but now I have learned to not give that voice the control it once had. I am in control of this journey and I will "Live my Best Life" and everyday I am working towards that....

Cracked Rib

Well this Christmas some people got presents, and I received a cracked rib. Now how I received this cracked/broken rib (can't tell from Xrays) is another story. For the past couple weeks my side has been sore, I even went to my Dr to see if he could tell me what was the problem was, he informed me that it might be a pulled ligament and there is nothing that can be done.
However, last week I was wrestling with my boyfriend and heard a large alarming "POP" come from my back. That entailed the next 5 hrs in emergency at the hospital, which in case you are wondering cracked Ribs are on the bottom of the waiting room list. When I was finally seen I was notified that there was nothing that could be done and that I was not to train for the next 4-6 weeks....ummm well that is not happening.
So now I will have to resort to less strenuous cardio, go slow with the weights and pay strict attention to my diet.....but on another note to self.....don't wrestle with a 280lb man....

SD Green Tea

Been awhile since I have written, just added a new product to my current supplement stack, Green Tea by SD Pharmaceuticals.  Green Tea is not only an excellent Antioxidant but also increases fat burning without any stimulants, and the best part is it gives me energy.  I find that as I get closer to show time my energy level lowers, I don't drink coffee and can't use stimulants so I found that Green Tea works really well for me. I am currently stacking this with my SD L-Carnitine and will add in the Green Coffee Bean in the next several weeks. The best part is being able to control each individual product that I use and the dosage.

For more information please check out:

Www.sdpharmaceuticals.com

And So it Begins....

So after Nationals I decided to give my body a break,  I kept in the in basics, Progressive Multi, Vegegreens, OmegaEssential Fish Oil, Calcium and HCP70 Probiotic. These are the building blocks and I believe in taking them year round. However,  Fat Burners, Pre Workouts, BCAA's, Sport Supplements ect I stopped, for no other reason then to just take a break. I think it is important to give your body a break, I believe that your body responds better when you start up again.

Well...I have started again, the Arnold Amateur's are 14 weeks away and let me tell you...... I missed my Supplements!!! The first supplement I started back with was my SD Pharmaceutical L-Carnitine, now for those of you who do not know L-Carnitine is one of the best Supplements out there! I used this product for Nationals this past Aug and I had amazing results. It has a whole host of benefits, fat loss, energy, bone building, brain health, heart health, the list goes on and on. I also like the fact it is non stimulant as I am very sensitive to stimulants so this product gives no jitters. This Super Supplement from SD provides a noticeable difference for me in and out of the gym, I feel stronger, tighter, I have more energy!! Stay tuned as I continue to add to my Supplement Stack in the weeks ahead....

My Mom Patch....

I wrote this blog several years ago.....but it still resonates...

I used to relish the days on the road. Just me on my way, map in my hand, hotel rooms booked, visiting my stores. A chance to get a mini vacation yet I was still technically working. A break from picking up toys, washing and folding clothes, dishes, making meals...well you get the picture I'm sure. 

Lately this has changed, the night before I am consumed with worry. What if something happens, to Me? Or God forbid to Mekaella? I can't sleep, my mind races, maybe I should not go? What if I don't listen to this voice and I should have. I know I have to work and I have to trust that we are always taken care of but sometimes that is hard...

As I stand in her room watching her sleep in the morning before I leave. She is pure perfection, that was the first thing I said when I saw her "She's Perfect", and I still think that (most days). I once could never imagine my life with children and now I could never imagine my life without her. Funny how these little beings come into your world and take over. Your world that consisted of your own "Important" wants and needs....humm what will I wear today?....hummm where are we going Friday night?...hummm should I do two cardio sessions today?

Then you meet your baby and all that changes forever, PJ's to Walmart are new fashion choice, hair thrown in the bun (lucky to be washed) is the new look, mascara IF you are lucky becomes all your make up, exercise is taken over by no sleep and breast feeding and don't even get me started on getting your hair highlighted cause that becomes a thing in the past at least for awhile. 

These were all things I never considered losing when I had Mekaella, but one that has remained is the terrifying thought of losing this little person that means the world to me. I don't think that will ever go away, I guess that is the patch I wear on my heart "Mom". I just have to have faith and trust that we will be taken care of.

Thank you Universe for blessing me with her...Please keep us safe while we are apart...

16 Weeks and Counting...36 Weeks of Living

    This is the final weekend, 16 weeks from now I will be standing on the Arnold Amateur Stage, this is a huge honour and my biggest show to date. If you would have asked me a year ago where  I thought I would be or what fitness goals I would be working towards now I would never in a million years dreamt this. The past year has been surreal to me, I feel so blessed and excited for this new journey. So the "No Cheating" begins tomorrow and I am excited to see what improvements I can bring to this upcoming show.

  Speaking of "No Cheating" I am asked quite often how I handle the dieting, I no longer believe in an "Off Season".  I used too, which followed with gaining a ton of weight and being very unhappy with myself. I had dedicated months to dieting only to spend the following post show months eating as much as I could get my hands on because I was "Off Season". That mentality took away any joy I had from competing, that was the main reason I had decided not to do it again, I did not want to fall into the trap of losing and gaining.

 So I do not diet anymore, not to say that show prep time I don't get more stringent with my food choices but I have decided to be a healthy example to those around me and to my daughter year round. I want to look good, have energy, and be healthy, this is my lifestyle. I choose to live this way on a day to day basis, I eat the same things I eat during show prep, and believe it or not I actually really like them. I have been able to maintain a small weight gain after Nationals and I do not feel deprived in anyway.

I believe in my lifestyle which does consist of eating out of plastic boxes, prepping my food each night, insane amounts of chicken,  broccoli, egg whites, and of course my beloved Pnt Butter. That also being said when I do not have a show in the forecast I do enjoy my dark chocolate, aged White Cheddar (Balderson to be exact) and a great glass of wine, but not every night. I choose to eat cleaner because I at the end of every day I love how I feel and look.

I love training, it is not something I do just for a show, it is not a chore to me, it has been part of who I am since I was 16, if I don't train I get extremely grumpy. When I am upset, or in a mood, the gym is my place to get away to be with my thoughts, my second home, and has become my drug of choice I guess you could say.

 I also take my supplements that I know are 100% true to label and give me the results I need. So in the next 16 weeks things my diet will get tighter, my training will pick up, and my supplements will increase but keeping things on track those other 36 weeks enables me to not have to suffer anymore.