I was recently speaking to one of my accounts about the new online world of dating and the lack of etiquette that seems to be rampant.
I shared with him my own experience of the onslaught of (naked) pictures, rude propositions, requests for my (naked) pictures, and all of the disrespectful and unkind attempts to get my attention that I receive via Social Media.
What I find interesting is I can guarantee that these men would never resort to this behavior if they were sitting across from me.
Yet, for some reason, the anonymity they get from sitting behind a keyboard somehow enables these kinds of unacceptable behaviors. Ask them if they would want their daughters, sisters, or mothers spoken to or approached in such a manner and I promise the answer would be a resounding “No”.
I do understand that we are in a very different era now. Everything is speeding up and changing so rapidly. And grabbing someone’s attention can be challenging.
It has become the norm to text more than actually speak on the phone. With everyone buried deep in his or her devices we are slowly loosing the art of conversation.
And I must admit that I am guilty of interacting too much through my own devices. I find myself texting more than I talk. To my friends, my work colleagues, even my own Mother. But do I actually enjoy it?
How often are text’s misconstrued and taken wrong?
Hearing a person’s voice and tonal inflections adds to the story and actually peaks my interest more than a text.
With texting, and messaging, this ability to communicate yet not physically be “seen” or heard has given many a “Hall Pass” to be more forward (way too forward).
Online anonymity means that one is no longer faced with the horrific reaction of the person’s voice or stunned expression that would normally accompany a face-to-face request to “Pull it out”, or a “let me see your boobs”. It now gets brushed off with a LOL or an emoji, or no response at all.
What concerns me more than anything is the fact that I have a daughter. I can ignore them, block them, and not give these people the time of day.
However, if this is becoming a standard norm (and, according to many of the people I speak with, it is) what will my daughter experience in the dating world?
Will she ever have a boy actually call her, ask her on a date, bring her flowers, take the time to respect and get to know her?
Or are we headed down an even more dark digitized direction….
Is the mystery of your suitor fizzling away?
How do we even turn it back?
Teaching my daughter love and self-respect will equally create a demand for more kindness and respect from her future suitors. She needs to understand that her body is to be valued and that sending unwanted images over a phone is never appropriate (in either direction).
It is interesting to think that teaching my daughter online etiquette is part of my job as a parent now, something my parents never had to consider.
So men and ladies, next time you are texting someone, why not pick up the phone, get a little old school, maybe resist the “nudie” shot until you are actually together…. maybe even get a little crazy and have some mystery surrounding your private parts....
Or maybe I will just hope that retro dating will come back into style….
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