Thursday 21 August 2014

Post Show Reflections...




Well I am done my two shows this year...I did BC's and The World Qualifier Natural Nationals in Winnipeg. Competing is tough as with bikini I find there is no "set" look they are going for and they change from show to show and sometimes the same show the winners looks vary from class to class. I'm not genetically a small girl, being 5"8 and usually sitting at 155 my body fights me to get below 140lbs. 
I have curves and in fact I really like having curves, when in prep my body leans out on top first and the bottom half will take it's sweet time with tightening up. The problem with my curves is that is not really the look of bikini. 
Last year I was told at Nationals I was too muscular and borderline figure. So this year we took the approach of creating a softer look, not as muscular. My training consisted of alot of fast paced training, I also incorporated a class 3 times a week that consists of plyo's, TRX, core exercise, and good butt kicking. I loved this class and will continue to do it going forward, as having a group energy and being able to try new exercises each week is challenging and fun.
My cardio towards the end went to to 1.5hrs, 45 morn and 45 night and my food was a higher fats lower carbs ratio. I do operate very well in ketosis and have discovered a new found love of coconut oil that I use with most meals now. However, even with all this my body was holding on. 
Now starting my new Management position right in the middle of my prep did not help much, I take my job very seriously and given this amazing opportunity is one I did not want to mess up. So combine the stress of that with the 100 retail partners I still work with plus a 5 year old, a relationship I want to nurture, and a house to run I was in a constant state of fight and flight....Go...Go...Go was an understatement...
So the week before BC's I questioned if I was even ready, I had a roughly 16 week prep but I was not as tight as I wanted to be. What's interesting is the scale was the same as I was at the Arnold's but my body composition was completely different. 
I ended up doing the BC's as my trial run and the feedback was I needed to be tighter, leaner, more conditioned. So with my month between BC's and WQ I upped my game, started running intervals, increased my cardio to 2hrs, did infrared sauna's (in the summer...so not fun) did the Grouse Grind once a week, and really paid attention to every detail of my diet. I did tighten up my legs went down as inch, my butt looked worlds different, however the scale went up and I stepped on stage at 146. 
I did feel great at the show but I still was not 100% the look I wanted, and the feedback was generally the same. I have amazing stage presence, I look beautiful, but I am curvy and just not as small as the other girls. On my own I look great but when in the line up compared with the other competitors it become obvious how much bigger I am them the rest of them. 
For years one of the reasons I have done shows is to have photo shoots for marketing, I had 3 amazing shoots this year. Every time I do a shoot I step away feeling amazing, I love the whole process, makeup, hair, posing, outfits, I have a blast. 
When reflecting on that I began to question why do I compete when photo shoots bring me such joy and although I LOVE being on stage, the comparison and list of things I need to change to fit the "mold" ends up leaving me feeling sub par.
So for now I have decided my next goal is a photo shoot in Vegas, I won't say I will never compete again, but for now I want to find a happy place for my body with a no "off season" mentality. To work towards strength, power and endurance in the gym, focus on my work with passion and excitement, be present with my daughter, spend date nights with my boyfriend working towards our future together, find the diet that gives me the results I want...and even though my state of constant fight or flight (old habits never die) probably won't change I will try to also remember to play along the way...


                                          BC's June 28th, 2014
                                                       World Qualifier Winnipeg Aug 9th 2014


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