In seeking treatment and strategies to gain control over my Bulimia I
first began to reflect at the times when I felt most in control of my eating
disorder.
I would like to say that at this time of this reflection I was not lost
within my eating disorder. However, in my twenties, I was bingeing and purging
multiple times each day. I know now that seeking some sort of outside help or
support would have been a better choice.
Ironically enough it was when I started competing in Physique Bikini
shows in my late 20’s the binging and purging compulsion subsided. I had
a very structured diet. I felt safe. I was eating healthy and my mind was at
peace. It was after the show when the routine ended and I started eating
everything that I tail spinned into my bulimic tendencies.
In my research, one of the treatments used for Eating disorders is
Cognitive Behavior Therapy. Such tools as controlled eating, changing your
inner dialogue, and positive body image are part of the treatment.
I made the connection between the CBT and my Prep life. While in “prep”
mode I felt strong, I was satisfied with my healthy choices and I never felt
the need to binge. I was positive, proud and motivated about what I was
accomplishing. Plus the fitness community is very motivating and
encouraging.
I then began to look at my trigger foods, what foods would set me
into a binge. Processed foods were the highest on the list. I can tell you I
never binged and purged on fruit or veg’s. Also when alcohol was involved, my
inhibitions are lower and a binge also became more likely.
When I am stressed I have often turned to food as a way to stuff my
feelings. I must try to be present to whatever I am going through. Taking the time
to stop and listen to my body. Acknowledging and being aware has become part of
my managing tools.
Allowing myself to be perfectly imperfect. Understanding that we
all struggle with different things on our bodies. That's ok. Not
obsessing, and being kind to myself not only reflect on my food choices but
also the inner dialogue that plays in my head.
There is medication for depression and anxiety that is used in
treatment. These are both common characteristics of those with an eating
disorder. I had never thought I had anxiety until I began to reflect and think
about my relationship with food. That is actually what kicks in once I feel I
have eaten too much or my bulimic Aeryon voices kick in. I found a wonderful
Anti-Anxiety natural supplement called Veeva that helps deal with that.
If I have an episode it does not mean I am a failure, or that I need to
spin out of control. It means I am human. I pick up and move forward.
In summary, I use a variety of tools some of which were in front of me
the whole time. I plan and prep my meals. I use positive body language. I
forgive myself. I am aware of my trigger foods. Most of all I have learned to
not be so hard on myself. I have learned that I do not need to be perfect.
I just need to take one step at a time and do my best in each moment…
If you are dealing with an eating disorder there are many amazing organizations
out there for support:
You can google search in your area for the closest support network.
Here are some in the BC area.
VCH Eating Disorders Program:
The Looking Glass Foundation:
Follow Me:
Facebook: Aeryon Bela Ashlie
IG: @AeryonBelaAshlie
Twitter: @AeryonAshlie
One of the greatest things that I was introduced to while fighting my eating disorder was yoga. I first thought this was such a slow and boring practice, until I added meditation to the mix. Now I simply can not get through my day fast enough to grab my mat and start with the yoga. Try it, you might LOVE it.
ReplyDeleteMargaretta Cloutier @ Aspire Wellness Center