Recently many of us watched a vulnerable Ronda Rousey on The Ellen Show open up after her UFC Championship loss. In this interview Ronda the “tough, powerful” fighter broke down in tears as she confessed how the loss of her title nearly destroyed her. That evening, she said, back in the medical room after being defeated, she felt as though she had lost herself. In her exact words “What am I any more if I am not this....I was literally sitting there and thinking about killing myself.....I am nothing."
This really hit home for me. Now, I did not lose the UFC Championship Belt. However, this past year, both personally and professionally, many of the labels I strongly identified with have been stripped away. I admit, I too was left raw and confused.
Asking myself “Who am I now….?”
Most of us identify ourselves by our titles, be it, Mothers, Fathers, Daughters, Managers, Girlfriends, Husbands, Business Owners, Athletes. These labels can be powerful and often ego based. Experiencing a change or shift can leave us questioning who we are at all.
I was recently talking with my dad about some of these issues, and he said something very profound to me. “Aeryon, In order to figure out who you are…. you must first know what you are not”
Talk about an Ahhhaa moment…
I was spending so much time and energy trying to figure out who I was now, that, to be honest, I was going in circles. However, if I look at what I am not…. the answers seemed so much clearer.
I know, I am not someone who gives up, I am not someone who settles or who watches life pass by. Creating a list of what I know I am not has enabled me to see past those titles to the characteristics that really matter.
Now most of us will never experience losing a world championship belt. But, understanding that a shift in what we believe defines us can be rattling.
So, perhaps by standing in what we are not…..can actually be the path to discover who we really are...
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