The Night Time Words...

As parents we all have some special nighttime ritual we do for our children. Either a tickle time before bed, a special book, a prayer, or kisses and I love you's.

Since Mekaella was three I have said the “Night Time Words” to her. She loves them, for the times when I am away from home I call and recite them.

They are always followed by a song that I have made just for her, with the music from “Can’t help loving that Man (Mekaella) of mine”

So I thought I would share with you our nighttime rituals:

Night Time Words: 

"Mekaella….You are strong and powerful.  Mommy loves you, Annie loves you, Grandpa and Grandma love you and you love and believe in yourself.

You can accomplish any of your dreams as long as you work hard towards your goals. So take a deep breath and close your eyes and think of thoughts that make you happy."

Song:

"Fish Gotta Swim and Birds gotta fly I gotta love Mekaella all my life. Can’t help loving that girl of mine.

She is so brilliant, she is so great. She is so smart she knows how to create. Can’t help loving that girl of mine.

When she goes away…..That’s a rainy day….but when she comes back that day is fine…..

Cause Fish Gotta Swim and Birds gotta fly…I gotta love Mekaella all my life…..Can’t help loving that girl of mine…"

Being a parent is a tough job. We are all trying our best to raise happy, healthy, kind children.

As she grows older I hope remembers the words spoken and sang to her each evening….moreso I hope she believes them…

                                Bedtime with the Munchkin.....

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Regrets

We have all heard the saying “No Regrets.” I have used it on various occasions and posts. However, as of recent my outlook on regrets as changed.

Like others, I have tried to avoid regrets and make sure I was living life to the fullest. I now believe to live a fulfilling, authentic life of purpose regrets are inevitable.

When you look up the word regret, other words associated with this term are; anguish, annoyance, bitterness, heartache, and discomfort. These are emotions we do not pursue, but I know in my life it is when I am uncomfortable it results in self-reflection and growth.

We all have times we wish we could take back, a fight, a moment in which you should have said something different, a job loss, an ending of friendship, or staying in an unfulfilling relationship that no longer serves you. It is in those moments if we can look at our actions breakthroughs can occur. Often similar patterns will continue to show up over and over until we stop and reflect.

If we can learn from our past “lessons” then it can change the trajectory of your life.

So in short I don’t want a life of regret but I want a life of growth. This usually means having some regrets along the way.

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Parenting....The Shift....

Had you asked me 8 years ago what my most valued job was or where I saw my future I would say being a Top Account Manager and then National Sales Manager.  Truthfully, my goal was never to be a mother. I never was someone who got excited to see babies. (Puppies yes…. Babies not so much)

Ask me that question today and you get a very different answer. For now, the most important job I will ever have is raising my Munchkin. 

Since the start, I have always known I did not want to be that strict, children should be seen and not heard, do as I say, angry parent that I experienced with my own father. I know the end result. I was a very unhappy teenager, who snuck out, experimented with drugs, drank and tried to fill a void.

During these teen years, I remember fondly my best friend Reagan’s parents, everyone loved her house, it was regarded as the “cool” house.  However, the reason was not because we got to do what we wanted or eat them out of house and home. It was the love we experienced.

One moment I will never forget. It was a Friday night and we wanted to go meet all the other teenagers at 7-11. Her parent’s were not having it, however their response dramatically effected me. Instead of the typical “Because…we said so that’s why you can’t go out”. I remember her Mothers answer like it was yesterday, looking into our pleading teenager eyes she said “We love Reagan and we love her friends and we just want you guys at home with us tonight….we want to be around you”.

That was so profound to me, how do you argue and get mad at being loved?

So that night everyone came over, her parents watched movies and visited with us. Over the years I watched as they practiced this in many ways with how they raised Reagan and her brother, and I always admired how close they were as a family.

I try to implement this technique with my daughter. Now she is just 7 so there is no “Going out” but I treat her with respect, kindness and love. I talk to her, we have conversations about things and if she does not listen there are consequences. However, I am not interested in barking or getting mad. I know I have the opportunity to make a change, to parent differently.

A quick example is the other night.  I had just returned that afternoon from being on the road all week and wanted to spend some time with her. I decided we would go to the newest kids movie, which she wanted to bring her friends, when I said “No” she started sulking. Part of me felt angry and annoyed but then I stopped.

I pulled her close and told her how much I missed her this week, how much I loved her. I explained that I really wanted to spend some mommy/daughter alone time. I simply expressed my love to her….

She immediately changed, told me she loved me and cuddled into my arms the whole movie.

Now lets be clear I am not saying that I will not get frustrated with her and angry from time to time. However, I also view her as my little teacher. She has taught me so much about who I am and who I want to be. I have explained to her that we are a team and a team works together. That we need to care, love and respect each other. If I want to change the cycle I need to be aware of my reactions and choices in parenting her.

My job is to support and help Mekaella rise into who she is supposed to be.  I know I won’t be perfect at it but being a conscious parent and using love over anger is a choice I have made.…

             

      
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